I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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