He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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