You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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