she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
