dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
