Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
