would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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