dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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