My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
