I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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