wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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