In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
