Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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