someone get that fucking seahorse.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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