A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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