are you so shy because you have an std?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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