yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
