Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
