with your own penis?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Randomize
