Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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