I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
It's never too late to be topless.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
