The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
