he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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