Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
