i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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