Nicole vs. Life
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
My breath smells like gin and sadness
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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