I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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