She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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