Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
