i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
