The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
