he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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