i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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