I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
