She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
