she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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