Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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