he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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