It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
only you would photoshop your dick
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
