It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
