i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
