Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
