dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I didn't notice because vodka
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
