3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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