So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
