he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
