Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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