the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
