Don't you send me to vm
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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