There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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