You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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