Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
